Eating as Much Bread As I Want Isn’t Freedom!

Growing up, I loved eating out because restaurant meals meant an unending supply of bread and butter. Hard rolls were my favorite. Winding my way to our table at one family night out, I spied hard rolls adorning the place settings. I was ecstatic! Even before the waiter came to take our order, I asked him for more rolls so many times that the poor guy finally gave up and brought me a giant bowl of them. Although this gesture may have been meant as a dig at my gluttony, I couldn’t have been happier. Unabashed, I eyed my booty, dug in, and ate my fill.

We think that choice is freedom but the opposite is actually true. In the mixed up crazy world of being overly involved with food, choice is bondage. If I’ve made a plan for myself, while it may be true that I’ve eliminated spontaneity and choice in the moment, but I’ve also eliminated the gut wrenching internal debates of “should I or shouldn’t I indulge” and blocked the Pleasure Seeking Child’s access point. If my decision is already made, she doesn’t have a chance to sneak in and sway me in the direction of eating the wrong foods and eating too much, a decision that I’m bound to regret later.

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You Can’t Keep Eating the Same Things

I can see that it’s time for my fire and brimstone lecture. People come to me and say I’m so tired of suffering, just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. But then I ask them to consider eating differently, giving up the junk, giving up the food that has no nutritional value, that they can’t stop eating and in all probability were never designed to eat, and I get blank stares. “I’ll do anything you want because I’m suffering so much over eating and weight, but don’t ask me to give up the food I love. Don’t get between me and my food and no one gets hurt.”

People have been coming to me telling me that they’ve been vigilant about bringing more awareness to their eating, making sure that their tummies are rumbling before they eat, resting, feeding their souls and speaking their truths. In other words they’ve been masterful at putting steps 4 and 5 and some aspect of step 2 into practice. This is great work and integral to healing.

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