Skinny Bitch

What do I mean by skinny bitch? She’s the woman (or man for that matter) who slinks into a crowded room looking flawless, perfect body, perfectly clad, making the rest of us green with envy. All eyes gravitate to her like iron shards to a magnet. “Why can’t we look like that, too?” we lament. Can’t we just paste our heads onto that perfectly clad body. Oh to dream! If we could be granted that one wish, then everyone else would be green with envy, wispering disapprovingly, calling us the skinny bitch. Is that so much to ask for? Can’t life grant us just this one teensy, weensy request?

But is that really what we want? “Heck ya!” you shout. But do we? When we envy others or want them to envy us, we’re stuck deep in ego land, creating separation. We’re singlehandedly creating our own universe and populating it based on the notion of “us versus them.” In this worldview, there’s “me” on one side of the line and “other” on the other side, and I’m can’t be safe or happy unless I’m better than all the those darn “others.” When we decide we want to be a skinny bitch, simultaneously loathed and admired by all “the others,” we’re tossing out any hope of experiencing life from oneness. We can never truly feel safe or at peace because who knows when one of those pesky others will try to get a leg up, sending us toppling from our self made thrones.

As Byron Katie says, “Ego’s don’t love – they want something”—in this case to be better than, to be admired. It’s as if they’re saying, “no one is as perfect as me. Don’t even try. Save yourself the trouble.” This a worldview that views life as a competition. Hmm. Where have I heard this before? Let me see. Does “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all” ring a bell?

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Nibbling While Cooking

The other way nibbling sneaks in when you’re not paying attention is at home is when you’re cooking. You may justify your nibbles by saying, “Well I have to taste to make sure that what I’m cooking will turn out right.” Also, you’re already touching the food, it’s right in your hot little hands, which makes it so much tougher to resist.

The other piece of this is that if you’re making a meal, chances are you’re hungry. It’s right before eating time and there you are seeing, touching, and smelling luscious food. Talk about a challenge! This has to rank up there at the top. Particularly if you’ve reinforced the habits of cooking and nibbling and cooking and tasting, they can take awhile to shift.

One way to approach this conundrum is to take a stand but put reasonable and doable boundaries around it. You can decided that just for today, not necessarily for the rest of your life, you’re going to create a no nibbling rule. If a morsel crosses your gums today, it’s because you’ve made a conscious decision to allow it. It’s part of your plan. It’s a meal and as such it deserves to be on a plate with your butt firmly planted in a chair during its consumption.

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Body Image

In our culture, looking good is a big deal and there’s a boatload of efforting and suffering that goes into trying to measure up. Inundated with images of young, thin, beautiful people, you assume that you should look that way too, and then advertisers sell you all manner of products to help you accomplish this impossible task!

Before you get your AK-47 to eliminate the young, thin, and beautiful among us or your violin to play a victim dirge, know that you do our part as well. It’s not enough for the culture to tell you that you should look a certain way, you have to believe it. You do it to yourself by buying into the story that you have to look perfect forever, if you’re ever to lead a happy, successful life.

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